A Teacher lecturing on population:
“In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. ”
A Sardar stands up- “We must find & stop her!. ”

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).. ”
The first sardar replies, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258″

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl… He went and kissed her….
Girl said- “What R U doing…?”
Sardar replied- ” B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar”

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says “CHIN YU YAN” and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend’s last Words.
And finds It means “U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!”

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A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.

“What is your name?” was the first thing she asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

She scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker …that’s all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling………… My name is John Darling.”

“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . ..”

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The heart is always right—

If there’s a question of choosing between the mind and the heart—

Because mind is a creation of the society.

It has been educated.

You have been given it by the society,

Not by existence.

The heart is unpolluted.

Our expectations are sometimes our motivation

Thus, Share few of your expectations from those whom you love

Have a Nice Day….

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Ek Gadha: Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.

Dusara Gadha: To tu bhag kyu nahi jata.

Pehla Gadha: Bhag to jata par yahan future bada bright hai … malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kahta hai, “teri shadi gadhe se kar dunga…!” bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon.

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1)Usko patane ka chakkar
2)Uski gali college ke chakkar
3)Har jagah uska dikhna
4)Pat gayee to thik warna uske liye apne aap ko taklif mein dalna jaise (haat ka kaatna, haaton par uska naam likhna,raaton ki neend gawana bahut sare side effects hai yaar pyar ke)
5)Pat gayee to har roz college bunk karke usse milne jaana (yahan se shura hoti hai barabadi)
6)Phir shaadi ke liye apne to apne maa baap se aur uske map baap se phadde
7)Phir ghar se bhaagna , izzat ka phalooda karlena aur sabse badi baat ladki ka baap police wala nikla to gayee bhaiis paani mein, aur bhai nikla to jao allah ke paas bina ticket ke

Itna sab karna hi kyon hai, maa baap ladkiyan dikhayenge pasand karu , ek nahi hazaar dekho
Lekin arrange karu

Mamu log apun to yehich chahta hai
Dekho mamu lafde mein padne ka nahi
Zindagi kharab karne ka nahi

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Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna enjoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He got irritated…drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child.

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1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder. ..louder. ..louder!

7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8. If they start out with, “How are you today?”, say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems…. ……..”

9. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. - and give him the ICICI call center number.

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1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS : Infinitely Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee during Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash first and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting

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I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work…

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